You Don't Look Like Yourself

No offense. But Seinfeld knows what I mean.

Aspirational reflection.

Do Ya or Doncha?

When do you look MOST like you? Yes, you. And no one else. The most. Like yourself. Uniquely. Abundantly. Radiantly. And when doncha?

We’ve all experienced that moment when a good friend who knows us well greets us then narrows their eyes and says: “You don’t look like yourself.”

Although people rarely say, “You look like yourself,” they certainly know when it strikes them as otherwise. Now our friend could have asked “Is something wrong?” or “Is something bothering you?” but they chose to say: You don’t look like yourself.

And while it might surprise you to hear that you look unlike yourself, this particular observation is more helpful than another “negative” declaration (such as the dreadfully generic “you look tired”) precisely because it is so specific.

So… what the hell does it mean when someone tells ya, “You don’t look like yourself?” Well, it means there’s something wrong. Something obvious to them. Even if it’s not to you. But now you can’t hide the truth from yourself any longer. Your internal discord has manifested itself in your visage. Your misalignment is evident — so much so that it has transformed the energy, the vitality, the very form and shape of your physical expression at the surface of your being.

It means that life conditions or market forces or recent circumstances or the errant path you’re traveling isn’t serving you, isn’t promoting your best health, isn’t raising your vibration, isn’t helping YOU be YOU.

Your besties who know you best—at your best—recognize it immediately. Because they don’t recognize the you who makes you you. Yoo-hoo! They’re a mirror reflecting back what you already know: something has to change. Because it doesn’t serve you to appear as your non-self.

How are you reflecting yourself?

Take a Look

We are oblivious to our own cloak of incognito until we grab some serious self-reflection. This warning shot fired across our bow by our friend demands that we take an objective look in an actual mirror. Or a glimpse of a recent family video. Or simply a long-hard perusal of an iPhone selfie.

If we are honest with ourselves we’ll see it in our own eyes, recognize it in our own smile (or frown), notice it in our own visage, perhaps in the vague dimness of our aura. We know ourselves enough to gauge whether resting bitch face is the face we’re stuck with or whether it’s the result of our choices. Of lifestyle. Of partnership. Of work-life balance. Of putting ourselves second, third — or last.

We all know this (inherently). We’ve all witnessed this (in others). We’ve all felt this (within). The way we appear to others is a telling projection: an outer expression of our inner reflection. But if it’s an unconscious projection that we don’t like it—and we shouldn’t—then we must make a conscious adjustment.

Serenity Now

So where did it go? How did it vanish? That sparkle in our eyes? That bounce in our step?

When we’re in love, we’ve got it. Pregnant women naturally have it. When we’re happy, fulfilled, activated, actualized, or accomplished we glow from within. We can’t hide it and we don’t want to. We smile by default. We make eye contact with passersby and shoot a grin at each. And they know it when they see it — it’s evident in our eyes. And the eyes have it.

Robert Wagner

We own it. Whatever “it” is. It’s ours. Like that magic moment when we find the perfect mirror in a hotel bathroom where we notice: “I look good. Reeeaally good.”

Maybe it’s the lighting. Possibly the porcelain. Or the ambience. But this glimpse is as good as gold and our telling swagger tells it all. As George Costanza demonstrates…

I love the mirror in that bathroom. I don't know what in the hell it is, I look terrific in that mirror. I don't know if its the tile or the lighting...
I feel like Robert Wagner in there.
~ George Costanza

No Unself

Like a confident stage actor, we project our most vibrant self. And it is our self we are projecting. Not someone else’s self. Our. Own. Self. Our GREATEST SELF. We embody the person whom our friends, parents, colleagues, spouses, children, partners recognize as US. Instead of the person they called out as “NOT us.”

This is how we can look, how we should look, how we were meant to look, how the Universe intended us to look. It’s when you appear most like YOU. She like SHE. He like HE. And they like THEY do. (Instead of “You don’t look like you-know-who.”)

When we present as our best we feel our best to do our best. We simply ARE our best. The polished spirit projects light. The diamond sparkles from within. And that’s the truest version we know ourselves to be: most powerfully effectuating whatever we place in the crosshairs of our intention.

The ultimate way to be.

Tune Up

A quick attunement practice to spruce ourselves up is to ask a friend…

If I’m not me, then who do I appear to be? What’s missing? What’s different? How do you recognize me as me? My voice, my look, my clothes, my posture, my energy? What’s makes me “me” to you? And when have I looked my absolute best?

Then reflect on the time and place and circumstances that informed you looking best. Did you just have a makeover? Wrap up a spring cleaning? Bought a new outfit? Had you just experienced a big success? Were you in love? Had you just quit the job you hated? Or returned from a vacation? Or received a loving hug from someone you care about? Or just had a damn good night’s sleep? Or several?

Powerfully effectuate whatever you place in the crosshairs of your intention.

When we attune to look most like ourselves by reordering our priorities to promote a balance of rest, laughter, health, vitality, fitness, peace, equanimity, freedom, and joy then we can watch as we flower into the best reflection, the best projection of ourselves. And that projection magnetizes the potent potentialities and powerful possibilities that serve our best selves best.

Bouncing Back

If whatever you’re doing, whoever you surround yourself with, whatever company you keep, whatever trajectory you’re currently on is helping, enhancing, augmenting, or supporting you looking your most radiant and fully-realized self, then stay the path because it’s serving your ultimate purpose — to be who you are to the fullest.

The bouncing ball can launch you to great heights!

Follow that bouncing ball of the shiniest, sparkliest, beaming-est, most expressive you-looking you. You’re own good looks will guide you. And when you recognize that singular youness smiling back in the mirror… you’ll have yourself to thank for it.

Here’s lookin’ at you, Kid.

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